Hi ladies! Today was a long day of training..too long I thought it would never end, especially since my feet were melting with my boots, I came home running to change my shoes. It's a beautiful sunny day outside.
Ever since January I've been trying to clean up my closet, getting rid of stuff that I never wore or that didn't fit well. It's been a slow process, a painful one too. My closet was a daily reminder of the money I had wasted buying tons of clothes, I refused to accept that I had a problem with shopping, I would say it, but I denied it in my heart (you know how it goes, it's easier said than done). If there's anyone out there that can admit he/she made a mistake without hurting the pride he/she has all my admiration, for me it isn't that easy. Facing the fact that I've bought things out of impulse hurts the pride.
I went on shopping bans, on budget plans (which I still kind of follow) and nothing has really worked. I shop because it gives me the high of finding a great deal, I shop when I'm stressed, when I'm PMSing, or when loneliness is too much to bear. I shop after a good cry or after having no nails left to bite. I shop after I see myself in the mirror (after a shower). Yes ladies, I'm an impulsive shopper. I started shopping compulsively in my late teens when I first got a job. There were times in my life when I stopped shopping during those times I was living in Mexico where consumerism is not as bad, in fact when I lived in Mexico I lived a simple life, shared a small closet with my sister and had only 4 pairs of shoes, two of them for school.
I could blame my bad shopping habits on the American consumerism or the ability ability to get awesome deals and quickly dispose of them, that would probably not sting the pride as bad but I don't think it would help me any. The best thing to cause change is to admit one's faults isn't it?
When I read Lyddie's
post I could definitely relate to her and it hit me that I had to finish what I started. Today I got up very early for training and during my lunch hour I came home grabbed a trash bag and dumped in all of those "what ifs" clothes, shoes, etc from my closet and from the red box. After my training I stopped by Goodwill and donated them. I felt good, no more guilt after accepting that I failed...it's time to move on and I feel a certain relief about dealing with the truth instead of denying it.
This red container is where I put many "what ifs". Once I put something in there I closed it and I didn't look back. It made the cleaning process much easier. After my things were in the "red box" I knew they never belonged in my closet in the first place.
I kept the things I love, the ones that work with many things I have, regardless of whether they are in the "10 ultimate basics", if they are going to be in my closet they need to be easily put in an outfit if not they will go to the red box.
Even though I've failed at having self-control I feel like I've succeeded.
My bad habits are not "cured" though just the other day I bought a pair of boots online (at Anthropologie), even before they arrived and after much prayer I knew I had to take them back. Yes, they were an excellent deal and they could have been worn many times but they were not what I needed, a classic, black pair that can go with anything. After they arrived I still battled whether or not I would take them back, you can't imagine how much I thought about keeping those boots, I even tried reasoning why it would be a logical choice to keep them. It was painful to put the box in my car as it's always painful to take the first step for change, but once they were in the car I realized I was making the right choice and I felt good about it even though I was $20 short because of shipping. Then I stopped by Gap and tried many things on...took a deep breath and left empty handed and I feel good about that too. No impulse purchases made. ^_^
The lessons I learned from cleaning out my closet:
Prayer makes everything easier.
It's better to face the truth and move on then to keep living in guilt and denial of my failures.
It was hard to take the first step, but once I did it things were much easier.
The red box will stay in my house.
I have a problem with shopping (and it still stings to write it but I'm happier).
9 Responses to “Long Skirt and closet ramblings”
You poor thing, you sound like you've been giving yourself a hard time over this. I'm also cleaning out my excess clothes!! Giving them away mostly. You look stunning in blue - absolutely stunning!!!
I can completely relate to your shopping habits. I shop because I have nothing else to do. As sad as it may seem, if I don't go out shopping on Satruday, and spend all day bumming around the house, in the evening I'm feeling bored and desperate and I buy something online.
I feel like I am on this search, to find that one piece of clothing that is going to change my life; help me meet new people, or find a better job or inspire me to go back to school.
I'm not sure why I think to look for this inspiration in a closet, just a wish that if I look the part, it will simply become me.
I'm glad you managed to clear out somethings, and I hope someday we can be in place where our emotions and closets are, um, perfectly edited and always able to create a look we are happy with.
And I can't believe you returned the boots! I wouldn't have been able to if I knew I was losing out of the shipping costs.
@ Teeny, thank you! I had to give myself a hard time because I can't just keep on deying I have a problem with shopping. It's all good now, I feel good about getting rid of the things that just took space in my closet. I do need a pir of boots, black ones, not the type I got, so there I was not making wise choices again which is a good reason to give myself a hard time. =) I would have regretted more looking at those boots and knowing that I didn't get what I needed and it cost me a penny.
@ Lyddie thank you for your reflective posts about shopping, I always relate to what you write. Your post inspired me to do some good cleaning. I will not stop shopping I know that for sure, but I want my closet to work for me, evey piece, not just buy things I like and have a hard time getting dressed because there is so much junk.
Ooooh, this post hits close to home! I realized that I had a problem when I was packing. The bigger problem was how ATTACHED I was to my clothes. Weird, right? So it's super hard to get rid of the stuff, yes, but it's necessary. Good for you for working on this!
Also, I LOVE your look! So flowy and effortless.
Shey! Good for you for facing your problem and achieving a goal. GOOD GIRL : )
I need to be more like you : )
I also have a shopping problem! My goal for this year is to get it under control. I am reading "The Shopping Diet" right now. Hopefully it helps!
That blue shirt looks amazing on you!
I pray about a lot of things, but I've never thought about praying about shopping. I'll have to remember to do that.
I know how you feel and it's taken me a while to get to this point but, once you get over the stigma that cause you to spend on impulse it gets easier to think back on what you have and what you need.
I love your outfit, you look so comfy :)
I know how you feel, more than you can imagine! It has been really tough for me to recognise my own disastrous shopping habits, to admit to having shopped for frivolous reasons, and then, to actually stop shopping the way I did before. It is not easy, but you know, nobody's perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. We can only do the best we can! Having said that, you have come a long way, it seems! I am proud of you!
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